Santa Banta and Windows 95

Santa: Hey, Banta!
Banta: Yes, Santa?
Santa: I just got my first computer.
Banta: That's great Santa. What did you get?
Santa: A Pentium II-266, with 40 Megs of RAM, a 2.1 Gig hard drive, and a 24X CD-ROM.
Banta: That's terrific, Santa
Santa: But I don't know what any of it means!!
Banta: You will in time.
Santa: That's exactly why I am here to see you.
Banta: Oh?
Santa: I heard that you are a real computer expert.
Banta: Well, I don't know-
Santa: Yes-sir-ee. You know your stuff. And you're going to train me.
Banta: Really?
Santa: Uh huh. And I am here for my first lesson.
Banta: O.K. Santa. What do want to know?
Santa: I am having no problem turning it on, but I heard that you should be very careful how you turn it off.
Banta: That's true.
Santa: So, here I am working on my new computer and I want to turn it off. What do I do?
Banta: Well, first you press the Start button, and then-
Santa: No, I told you, I want to turn it off.
Banta: I know, you press the Start button-
Santa: Wait a second. I want to turn it off. Off. I know how to start it. So tell me what to do.
Banta: I did.
Santa: When?
Banta: When I told you to press the Start button.
Santa: Why should I press the Start button?
Banta: To shut off the computer.
Santa: I press Start to stop.
Banta: Well Start doesn't actually stop the computer.
Santa: I knew it! So what do I press.
Banta: Start
Santa: Start what?
Banta: Start button.
Santa: Start button to do what?
Banta: Shut down.
Santa: You don't have to get rude!
Banta: No, no, no! That's not what I meant.
Santa: Then say what you mean.
Banta: To shut down the computer, press-
Santa: Don't say, "Start!"
Banta: Then what do you want me to say?
Santa: Look, if I want to turn off the computer, I am willing to press the Stop button, the End button and Cease and Desist button, but no one in their right mind presses the Start to Stop.
Banta: But that's what you do.
Santa: And you probably Go at Stop signs, and Stop at green lights.
Banta: Don't be ridiculous.
Santa: I am being ridiculous? Well. I think it's about time we started this conversion.
Banta: What are you talking about?
Santa: I am starting this conversation right now. Good-bye.