Bhola goes to a grocery store.  He finds cat food at special prices.  He picks a dozen cans of cat food and goes to check out.  The Manager gets suspicious.  He thinks that this guy cannot have a cat and will probably feed cat food to his kids.  He asks Bhola to show him his cat before he could let him have cat food.  Bhola goes home and returns with a cat and gets to buy the cat food.

Next week Bhola finds dog food at special prices.  He picks a dozen cans of dog food and goes to check out.  The Manager again gets suspicious.  He thinks that this guy has a cat but he cannot have a dog and he will probably feed dog-food to his kids.  He asks Bhola to bring and show him the dog before he can let him have dog food.  Bhola goes home and returns with a dog.  He gets to buy the dog food.

Next week Bhola comes to the grocery store with a bag.  He asks the manager to put his hand in the bag.  The Manager puts his hand in the bag and immediately takes it out.  He shouts at Bhola: "What! This is shit!"

Bhola calmly replies: "Yes, and I want toilet paper"

Bhola as you know, is a not too smart kind of guy.  Everyday when he walked home from work, he would get stopped by three nasty men and they would beat him up and steal his money.

Finally, Bhola decided that it would serve his best interest to walk a different route and then take up some self-defense classes so this wouldn't happen again.

He joined a karate class and soon was doing very well to defend himself.  So, one day, on the way home from work Bhola took his old route home and sure enough there they were.  He walked up to them and the battle ensued.

The next afternoon Bhola went to his karate class with a black eye, a broken nose and a busted lip.  His instructor, shocked, asked him what happened.

"Well," explained Bhola, "I took my old way home last night so I could beat these guys up who were stealing my money, but they beat me up before I could get my shoes and socks off!"

Bholaji goes to the doctor and says "Doc, I ache all over. Every where I touch it hurts."

The doc says "Ok, touch your elbow."
Bholaji touches his elbow and winces in genuine pain.

The doc, surprised,says "touch your head."
Bholaji touches his head and jumps in agony.

The doc asks him to touch his knee and the same thing happens.
Every where Bholaji touches it hurts like hell.

The doc is stumped and orders a complete examination with X-rays etc... and tells Bhola to come back after two days.

Two days later Bhola comes back and the doctor says, "We've found your problem..."

"Oh yeah? what is it ?"

'You've broken your finger!'

Bhola ji stormed up to the front desk of the library and said, "I have a complaint!"

"Yes, sir?"

"I borrowed a book last week and it was horrible!"

"What was wrong with it?"

"It had way too many characters and there was no plot whatsoever!"

The librarian nodded and said, "Ahh. So you must be the person who took our phone book."

Bhola who just came from India walks into a hardware store and asks to see the chain saws. Picking up one, he asked the store clerk, "How many trees will this one cut in an hour?" 

"Oh, that one will cut about five good sized trees in an hour," replied the clerk.

 "What about this one?" asked Bhola. The clerk replied, 

"That's an intermediate model which cuts around ten trees." 

"And this one?" asked Bhola. 

"That's our best model. It should cut at least 20 trees in an hour," said the clerk 

"I'll take it!" said Bhola. Two days later, Bhola returns to the store and angrily states, "Hey, this saw is terrible. I could only cut three trees in one hour with it!" 

The clerk says, "Gee, I don't understand that. This is the best chainsaw we carry. Wait a minute while I check it out." The clerk pulled on the starter rope and the saw immediately activated with a loud roar. 

'Hey," said Bhola, "what's that noise?"